Terrible things and Cows
by Yuui.X.I
Summary: Jester gets his palm read and terrible things will happen hence the tittle and Jane ends up doing something she will regret. Chessy ending. Lope's idea also. Terrible ending, plus akwardness...


"Terrible things shall happen upon you," said the dark haired woman with piercing blue eyes. A chill ran through Jester's spine as he jerked his hand away and stood up awkwardly, eager to turn away and run.

The woman, a gypsy named Maricella, was reading the palm of his hand, muttering a few things every once in a while before speaking out loud those dreaded six words. He knew she was going to say that, he has seen it himself, but he had thought it was a simple mistake.

_You cannot escape your fate that easily, _Jester's mother would have said. _It is all on a single thin string, easily breakable if you take something far too much for you to handle..._

Finally, after thanking Maricella, Jester walked out of the Gypsy's tent and forced himself to the castle, cradling his right hand protectively on his chest. Looking around him, the scene was almost mocking him, with its high clouds and soft breeze, a perfect opposite to Jester's foul mood. He could see a couple in each others arms in embrace and a shocking thought hit him.

_What if the terrible thing that will happen to me will be that Jane hates me?_

No, there is no way, absolutely now way that could happen. Unless... Jester groaned at the thought and walked slower, reaching the castle fifteen minutes later in dis stress.

He soured even more when he saw Jane giggling as she tackled Gunther to the ground. _She is giggling, _he thought, _giggling mean she likes him, right?_

The fool decided to ask the gossiper herself.

It started out with the usual greetings:

"Hello, Pepper."

"Hello, Jester."

"What is for dinner?"

"Fish."

"..."

"Any new jest lately?"

"Not unless it is on me."

The usual process of sitting down:

The chair screeched as Jester slid it on the floor towards the empty space in front of Pepper. Pepper grimaced a bit as Jester plopped himself down, the the dark wooden stool giving a loud groan in protest and Pepper another grimaced as the awful noise broke the peaceful silence of her kitchen.

And the usual question about Jane:

Questions spilled out of Jester mouth nonstop while Pepper listened with patience while tasting a bit of fish soup. "Is she feeling well? Any other sing of a relationship? Has she said anything about me? Does she talk about me? How often does she spend her time in her room? Where is Dragon? Jane is in the practice yard. She giggled with Gunther, what does that mean?"

Pepper's wooden spoon fell to the ground with a clatter as she ran over to Jester and almost sat on top of him, eager for new information. "What? They were? Tell me all about it. Every single detail!"

So Jester told her everything he saw."And that's what I came here to ask you," he finished with a great exaggerated sigh.

"Oh! I have an idea!" Pepper squealed excitedly and jumped up and down slightly. She took Jester's hand and dragged him out of the kitchen. Both of them stopped before the turn to the practise yard and peeked through. Jane had her hand in Gunther's and both were dancing to music none could hear.

"What in the world?" murmured Jester while shaking his head, slow enough for the bells not to be heard. Pepper grabbed on to Jester to keep from calling in delight and took him back by the kitchen door.

"This is _so _exiting!" said Pepper while covering her grin with both hands.

"Oh, no! She was right!" groaned Jester, slapping his hand on to his forehead. Jester sat heavily onto a seat by a wooden table and hit his head on it over and over.

Pepper pushed him over and sat next to him. "Stop that," she scolded. "We are to celebrate Jane's and Gunther's courtship, and I want everyone looking their best."

Jester groaned again and Pepper punched him playfully. "Have I told your great theatres?" she asked while Jester rubbed his bruised arm.

"Have I told you of how strong you are?" asked Jester back.

"Work of cooking," said Pepper as she took Jester's arm and dragged him back into her kitchen.

* * *

"Very well," said Sir Theodore nodding in approval. "I almost believed it myself. You may stop now."

Gunther and Jane quickly took their hands away and tried to hide their disgust as they rubbed their infected hands on their tunics. "I am definitely going to have to burn this," said Jane pointing at her tunic.

"Mind if I throw mine in the fire along with yours?" asked Gunther while still wiping his hands on his clothes.

"Sure," replied the redhead as sweetly as she could muster, but sarcasm could still be heard.

"If you two burn your clothes every time you practise this, you will soon come to knight studies without anything on," said Sir Theodore while crossing his hands over his chest. Jane and Gunther could swear he had a smug smile on.

"What?" they both asked at the same time, shocked looks crossing their faces.

"I thought it was just today," said Gunther with outrage.

"What I said is true. You will do this for a month. Remember, fool the mind and the battle shall be yours. You want to give the impression of a happy couple." Sir Theodore turned and walked away while trying to keep a straight face.

Both squires were now glaring at each other. "If you as much get comfortable with this," said Jane pointing at Gunther, "You will lose your arms."

"Me? Get comfortable with you? Yes, when Prince Cuthbert learns how to read!" Gunther threw his hands in the air for emphasis and Smithy could not help but to cut in.

"Prince Cuthbert is ten and he learned to read yesterday. He read the letter 'a'."

Both squires glared at Smithy and he just raised his hands a bit to show that he was innocent.

"Like I said, Do not get comfortable with this."

"How could I get comfortable with this?" asked Gunther again, this time pointing at Jane.

"What is wrong with 'this'?" asked Jane in protest. She looked herself down to find any mistakes to her frame and clothes.

"You do not notice, Jane? You are so naive, so stupid. Your breast are smaller than average, your clothes covers you all, and you have yet to find a suitor." Then Gunther mumbled, "not that anyone would be satisfied with you. No excitement."

Jane caught that. "No excitement? Are you serious? I can be exciting!"

Gunther gave a mischievous smile, displaying a great mood change. "Show me."

"Fine," said Jane. "You asked for it. On the wall." She had no idea of what she was about to do and how much she would regret it all.

"What?" asked Gunther startled.

"On. The. Wall." Jane pointed at the wall next to the stable doors, where they were hidden from Sir Theodore's view and could not be easily found.

Gunther strolled there and leaned casually against it as if he was used to this when in truth he was as nervous as somebody who was about to be beheaded.

_I most likely will_, he thought, as Jane pushed him and leaned in till their lips met.

* * *

Smithy stood, hammer in hand, shocked at how far a simple discussion about excitement could go and at how willing Jane would be to prove herself to a bickering and annoying Gunther. He stayed like that, staring, before he regained wheat dignity he had and continued hammering away. Bet he could not help but to keep looking sideways to see how much farther it kept getting. _If this keps up, Gunther will most likely take Jane to his house and Jane would return pregnant_, though Smithy as he looked over at them for the tenth time.

* * *

"Come on, Jester," said Pepper who was in the kitchen with a low fool. "Do not look so down."

"Why must I not? I could bet my bells on that they are kissing now at the courtyard." Jester put his face in his hands.

"Most likely they are just throwing insults at each other," said Pepper while trying to cheer him up. "We could check if you want to."

"Yes," he said, looking up. "Maybe they are just fooling around."

* * *

They returned back to the same spot where they were before and saw what the two squires were doing, but it was far too intense for Jester to take. He slid down to the dirt floor and placed his head on his knees. Pepper sat next to him, on his left and put a comforting arm around him. "All will be well," she told Jester. "All will be well..."

Jester layd his head on the fourteen year old's lap and Pepper slowly sang a sad ballad. Pepper patted down Jester's hair.

"Oh, Jester," whispered the pale girl sadly.

* * *

Jane stepped away from Gunther, smirking. "Is that good enigh for you?"

Gunther though about it. "On a scale from one to ten you would be a three," he said finally.

"What?" asked Jane in an outraged voice. "A three? Are comepletely out of your head, you meatball brain?"

"Meatball brain? You need to get more insults. But a three, because I _know _you are not willing to go any further..." Gunther smirked as he crossed his arms but inside his head it was all a huge mess.

"Further?"asked Jane, shocked once again. She placed her palm on her forehead, and let out a fusturated sigh. "Gunther, how much further must I go to be good enugh for you?" Jane asked in a defeated tone.

Gunther showed the same mischevius smile from before. "Well... That _was_ only a kiss..." said Gunther slowly. "But...I did not really feel it..."

Jane stared at him in confusion.

"What?" asked Gunther defensively.

Jane blinked and walked away.

* * *

"Hello, Jester," said Jane as she walked passed him.

"Jane! You walked away! You do not love him!" cried Jester as he ran up to Jane and sweeped her into a huge hug. "I love you Jane. LOVE you for ever!" continued Jester who leaned in and kissed Jane.

A cow walked by standing on its two hind legs. He stood there and stared at Jane and Jester. "Kids today," it said before it walked away.


End file.
